Kinky pron was outlawed in the UK on Monday, as if you didn't notice

So now you can’t sit on faces, yell nasty things, insert unauthorized objects, do a ‘number one’ on somebody, etc.

    2014/12/03

NSFW    Police State

This TOMO is about p*rn, but is not, itself, p*rn. Still, if you can’t handle your shiz, skip this one or save it for the safety of your spank dungeon.

Now, the news.

Censors in the UK have just banned a swathe of kinky pron varieties from being produced in the UK and sold over the internet there. As of Monday, British "video makers" may no longer do the following:

Hitting people real hard with things, inserting all 5 knuckles into a person, physical or verbal abuse (like harsh language?), portrayal of forced sex, watersports (that’s pee, folks), and strangest of all, female orgasming (with associated liquid expulsion).

So women aren’t supposed to let out a little spritz if they’re having a good time? Seems unfair after all the spritzing guy’s do on screen! And good luck trying to put the female-orgasm genie back in the bottle. Oh wait, object insertion was banned too.

According to the British government, acceptable p*rn is the kind where it starts with a BJ, one party flops around on top of the other, then busts kid-friendly male emmission on the submissive’s face.

Such p*rn is graded R18 and does not “impair children”, the standard against which British p*rn is judged. Oddly, all the banned acts are staples of Female Domination p*rn, as if the very idea of women in charge could “impair children”.

Oh well. You freaky Brits can still get your kicks on the American internet. You’re welcome.
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