KANO, NIGERIA — The Nigerian po-po is dismissing claims that $22,000 in zoo funds ended up as gorilla chow, saying the news is 100% fake, since the zoo doesn't even have a gorilla.
Reuters reports that when 6.8 million Naira, or about $22 grand, disappeared from the Kano Zoological Gardens in northern Nigeria, local media went wild reporting that a cash-eating gorilla was the culprit.
In reality, the perps who made off with the zoo's gate fees were armed robbers, which, given the country's widespread corruption, isn't really uncommon.
The zoo's managing director said there isn't a single gorilla at the zoo. Even if there was, it's not like a monkey could just break into a safe and pull off a heist. It's likely the tall tale was cooked up by the hooligans to cover up their theft.
Speaking of hooligans, the Daily Post reports that 10 zoo staff members are being investigated by police, and have already been arrested and detained.
Amazingly, it's not the first time a crime was pinned on a nonexistent animal culprit. Last year, a Nigerian clerk got suspended after telling auditors a snake ate $100,000 in cash.
Not the most convincing liars, these ones.