Virtual reality sex could soon be reality


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The end of the world is nigh! A sex robot that uses Oculus Rift virtual reality display has been unveiled at the Oculus Game Jam in Tokyo. Ressentiment’s invention connects a haptic controller called the Novint Falcon to an industrial vibrator made by Tenga. The user dons the Oculus Rift headworn virtual reality display to view sex acts simulated by the Oculus and performed by the Falcon and Tenga.

Separately, Oculus Rift is just a head-mounted 3D viewer that makes video games even cooler. Tenga is cylindrical vacuum pump that helps men beat off. The Novint Falcon is device that jitters and shakes to simulate things like shooting guns for video games. By combining their powers, Ressentiment has created a Voltron-like sex robot that will change history!

It would seem that it’s only a matter of time before Ressentiment’s invention hits the market. We have a pretty good idea as to what will happen then: ASDOFACNSLDFAJLJSNDLKJHFEIUH!!!

With men no longer motivated to impress the ladies, civilization as we know it will collapse. Say goodbye to sports cars, phallic skyscrapers and ladies’ nights. Japan will become the world’s largest economy despite an exponentially increasing demographic trough. With men out of the picture and women finally in charge, a wolf will reside with a lamb, and a leopard will lie down with a young goat; an ox and a young lion will graze together, as a small child leads them along, and Israel will sign peace agreements with Iran and Palestine. Or God may just decide to send in the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse a bit early.
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