Miley Cyrus, the self ordained twerk master herself, can publicly add Joe Jonas’s notch to her belt of dudes she taught things to who didn’t know nothing about that before. Joe, of the Christian themed, Disney contrived, Jonas Bros band, comprised of him and a couple of actual bros, was in Amsterdam with Miley Cyrus and his on-again-off but never all-the-way-in, not even the tip, girlfriend Demi Lovato. While perusing Amsterdam’s various delights, Cyrus and Lovato dragged Joe the choir boy into a coffee shop and made him get mad faded. At first, the reincarnated Menudo dropout resisted the twin succubi’s attempts to make him do gravity bong rips out of their asses, but he eventually relented and got all up in there, then ate some falafel.
Little did Joe the Organ Plumber know his night of sin had just begun. Amsterdam offers vices that would turn any man’s Promise Ring to brass. After sumbling through a plate glass window leaving the coffee shop, Jonas and Co skirted the red light district, where he nevertheless got dragged into a pingpong show, followed by a kind of performance where a lady shoots pingpong balls out of her own hooha! While Miley was taking notes, Joe got dragged up on stage for an audience participation act called “Flik der Bean!” Having not seen any more of a woman’s anatomy than was ever described in the bible, Joe went straight to work milking her udders and proposing marriage. They were immediately kicked out. While Demi was out of sight mainlining water straight from the Amstel river, Joe and Miley were caught by Joe’s A&R who promptly had him frozen in carbonite until such time as Disney should next require him.