Ronald Strong was forced served a seven-day jail sentence after he shat himself in a Portland federal courthouse.
As if soiling yourself in public isn’t embarrassing enough, the presiding judge opted drop a turd in Strong’s figurative punchbowl.
According to a recent Salon article, as Strong was being screened by security at a federal courthouse in Portland, he noticed he had let out more than just a backdoor breeze. He informed a security guard, who kindly escorted the leaky 50-year-old to the nearest bathroom.
Strong blamed his unfortunate case of a loose sphincter on medication he was taking due to a heart condition.
After relieving himself, he threw away his now chocolate-covered undergarments, admitting "What was I going to put them in?"
Sadly for the officer who later discovered the resulting mess, Strong did more than just drop the kids off at the pool, he painted the town brown.
In a 57-page court document the presiding judge described in graphic detail, chunky peanut butter and meat sauce-like excrement splattered across the entirety of the small bathroom stall.
Strong tried to play it cool and finished up his remaining errands at the court before fleeing the scene of the crime.
The horror left in wake of the chocolate rain storm led the court to the conclusion that no such disaster could be accidental.