iWank: Man sues Apple for causing his adult video addiction

    2013/07/16

NSFW    ***

Apple lawsuit: A 36-year-old Tennessee lawyer is suing Apple, Samsung’s biggest rival, for developing a adult video addiction which cost him his wife and son. The bizarre 50-page complaint blames the Californian company for allowing him to see material which, “appealed to his biological sensibilities as a male and led to an unwanted addiction with adverse consequences...” otherwise known as THE ENTIRE INTERNET.

Chris Sevier says trouble began when a browsing mistake lead him not to Facebook, but to Fuckbook.com. He also claims he’d never encountered porn before Apple’s smut machines led him to it.

The lawsuit says he lost interest in his wife who is “no longer 21.”

And that his throbbing addiction consumed his life, ultimately causing his wife to run off with their young son.

So emotionally distraught, Mr. Sevier has greased himself up to fight the tech giant. He says he just wants the company to ship its products with a “safe-mode” so that innocent grown men won’t be turned away from, quote, “the unquenchable reality that God is real.” But he’s also a friend of the little guy, saying “unregulated Internet porn is hurting brick and mortar or 'mom and pop' porn shops.”
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