If you weren’t sure what a regurgitating squatty potty looks like, one look at the reaction to Jimmy Kimmel’s apology for his Kid’s Table segment should give you a pretty good idea. Not since Aryan Nation kid on Bill Cosby’s Kids Say the Darndest Things has there been such fury over one kid’s ignorant comment. Apparently the humor was lost on some people, as protests cropped up in a highly coordinated fashion all over the United States on Saturday. Was this really a spontaneous outpouring of rage of over the single most egregious offense ever dealt to the Chinese American community? Or is there a hand inside the glove holding the sign with a picture of Jimmy Kimmel dressed as Hitler?
Massive nationwide public protests are usually not the first strategy of the Chinese American community. The whole affair reeks mightily of PRC intervention. Even choice phrases from China’s frequent rebukes of other enemies have cropped up. Protest signs mention “Hurt Feelings,” one of the Communist Party’s strongest expressions of anger. But the irony is that Jimmy Kimmel might have made the situation worse by apologizing. Anybody who knows China knows that everyone who has ever apologized to the Communists goes on their permanent-punching bag list. A better strategy would be to apologize to Taiwan, as the rightful government of China in exile, and Taiwan would be all like: “Don’t worry about it. It was funny! Kids say the darndest things! Also, $1 trillion dollars in debt? Forgiven! Go crazy!” Because while idiots in China are painting Jimmy Kimmel’s head atop Hitler’s body, we know that if they painted their own leaders’ head there, suddenly these public protests would go out of fashion, and quick.