Shanghai smart bathrooms have warnings for long deuces
Better make sure all the pipes are working smoothly.
SHANGHAI — Big Brother is watching—in the bathrooms now too.
According to the Shanghai Observer, 150 "smart" public crappers have been dumped around the city.
They come with a whole bunch of bells and whistles you probably don't need in a public restroom, but what the hell.
When you walk up to the entrance, a large screen shows which stalls are being destroyed and which are empty.
But you probably won't look at that, which is why they also have LED signs above each stall that light up red when in use and green when not in use.
When you approach the can and lock the door, an infrared sensor detects your presence and displays it on the outside screen.
The funniest feature is that these public bathrooms actually keep track of how long you're in the stall.
If your business is taking a bit longer to conclude, like over 15 minutes, an actual worker is notified to come knock on the door to check on your progress.
But don't worry, that worker will have to use facial recognition to get in. Remember this is a bathroom folks.
The hi-tech bathrooms can also detect how stinky the air is and adjust for odor accordingly. Easier said than done.
But let's be real people, does the government really need to know how many kids and how often you're dumping them off at the pool? Guess that's what they call BIG DATA.
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